Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A $50 Lesson

A co-worker sent me this story, and I thought it was funny enough to pass on in an unmodified form. BTW, I belong to no political party. I have my believes, which I feel are best described as conservative, but I do not believe any single party accurately represents what I believe. Each election I look at the ballot measures individually and for the politicians I cast my vote based on their track record. So much for the disclaimer, now for the fun part:

"I'm a constitutionalist and don't feel either side of congress represents it's constituency. That being said, I think the following story is funny.

A $50 Lesson:

I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President someday. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me."

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2 Comments:

At March 21, 2010 at 5:05 PM , Blogger jj said...

So the girl decides to do the work herself and gets paid the $50.

The next day, she goes to school and is excited about telling her teacher her lesson and spreading the great news about being a republican.

Unfortunately, the teacher called out sick and there was no substitute, leaving the kids unattended. While in class, a bully beats her up and takes his $50.

She calls the police to report the bully, but the police showed up 5 hours later after the bully was gone.

So distraught, she goes and tells her educated liberal democratic parents what happened that day.

She tells them of earning the $50 for all her hard work and how she was excited how their republican friend welcomed her to the republican party. She didnt understand how her $50 could be easily taken and why no teacher or police seem to be around when she needed them the most.

Her parents explained to her that it was great that she took the job and earned the $50. They then told her the homeless guy whom theri republican friend was speaking of was a vietnam veteran and when he came home from the war he had a bad leg and needed help, but the government had no money to support his healing process and he got sick and never recovered to find a good job. They also told her that over the last 8 years, there has been no money to hire enough teachers and police, which is why when your teacher gets sick, noone is there to fill in and that the police were probably overwhelmed with calls of crime due to all of the unemployment in town and there isn’t enough money to hire more police.

The little girl looks at her parents and says “Thats horrible! Next time I get $50 I will go give $5 to the homeless guy for lunch, then give $10 to the school to help pay for more teachers, and then $10 to the police station to help pay for more police. That will only give me $25, but at least a veteran will eat, a teacher will always be there when one calls out sick, and if something happens to me, the police will respond faster and catch the bad guys”

Her parents tell her “Welcome back to the Democratic party!”

 
At February 1, 2011 at 4:10 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Part 2


Then the little girl asked while looking perplexed, "If you know a hungry homeless man is at the grocery store, why haven't you seen if there is a need in his life that you can assist with? Why haven’t you sincerely offered him the job and pay him a fair wage for mowing your lawn, pulling your weeds, and sweeping your driveway if you need the service anyway?”

I told her "because Tea Party folks enjoy making up cynical little stories that leave out substantial facts and evidence that does not support reality or benefit our silly political positions. And besides, we have no real interest or intent in assisting the unemployed or working poor and we sure the hell are not going to actually assist homeless people” while angrily leaning my 240 pound frame into her personal space and menacingly jabbing my finger.

While looking increasingly confused the little girl then said “So you are quite happy to exploit the plight of the homeless in your little anecdotal stories in an attempt at confusing weak minded people?”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed, “You never will hear much in the way of policy specifics from us teabaggers, just half-truths, generalities and ridiculous anecdotes like this one!” while opening my arms in a welcoming manner.

The little girl no longer looking perplexed then says “No thanks, I would much rather be a Liberal than be part of a disingenuous group like the Tea Party. And besides” she says with a great big grin and slap to her knee, “are you aware that teabagger is a double entendre? I would never associate myself with that!” while laughing hysterically and playfully covering her mouth.

“Are you sure little girl?” I say. “We are trying to role back the federal government to 1776 levels, so we can again legally hire little girls and boys like you and have children again operate dangerous power tools.”

“Not interested” the little girl says while regaining her composure after laughing over the idea of Sarah Palin as the leader of the Tea Party. She then told me that “Progressives moved us past the horrors of child labor in the early 20th century due to the high number of injuries and deaths associated with children being forced to operate dangerous equipment.” Just as I was remembering that I offered my friend’s little girl $50 to operate my power mower. “I am going to go travel on the public roads and go to publicly funded school and get my government funded vaccinations so I can grow up big, healthy and smart! I will then contribute to the infrastructure of the United States in the form of taxes so the children that come after me will have the same opportunities I had. I probably won’t even complain too much over tax rates” she goes on to say “Then I am going to be President of the Unites States!” The little girl’s parents still beaming with pride. Now they don’t talk to me because I tried to get their cute little daughter to come to my house and operate my power mower.

 

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